Since last November the topic of me being intimidating or un-approachable has kind of been a running topic. I guess I'll bring up the starting story...
So last November, the day before Thanksgiving my sister and I went out to one of the only bars in our hometown. We had fun the year before so we thought it might be just as fun. Wrong. It was not. In fact it was just a bunch of people I knew from high school and people that I knew of. And I really wasn't too found of it. I haven't talked to anyone from high school in years. So, it was just a little strange. I think my sister felt a little out of the loop too because she was about 10 years older than everyone else. Apparently everyone her age didn't go out...but oddly enough, just the year before there were plenty of people her age and older so that was a little more the scene we were expecting. Any who, we drank a few beers just to spend more time there since we had to pay to get in...lame. As we were leaving, we ran into this older man, probably in his 50s. Random facts, he was Brazil, moved to Michigan from NY with his daughter so she could attend MSU. He has stopped us on our way out and was like "hey, you guys are leaving already?" (btw, we did not know this guy at all). He continued to talk and was just very infatuated with my sister...telling her how beautiful he thought she was and how beautiful her smile was. And that all he wanted to do when he saw her walk into the bar was come say hello. Well what stopped him? Apparently me. He said he didn't want to come say hi because he said I just had a look on my face that just said "don't f with me." I thought about it for a week or so because no one has ever said that i looked intimidating like that before. Not that I really minded in that situation because come on, I don't want to be around some old dude hitting on my sister.
This little eye opener wasn't that big of a deal, but then I had a co-worker from one of my jobs tell me that they thought I looked a little intimidating at first too. But once they got to know me they realized I was nice and friendly. Apparently it's just the way I look. I kind of got obsessed with this idea of me being intimidating...not gonna lie, I still am a little. I started asking some of my friends out of the blue and if they remember our first time meeting. They weren't really bad though. So, then I kind of let go for a bit again.
At one of my jobs, I had a secret shopper come in. Now, let me tell you...I really do try to be in a cheerful and happy mood at work. There is no way I would ever purposely be disrespectful. Or put customer/member needs last. Well, needless to say I had been secret shopped twice and neither of the reviews were very good. Both said I wasn't smiling, and didn't seem approachable. One of them even said that I dint seem interested in them while talking to them. I'm not gonna lie, when I heard I had been secret shopped I kind of felt like it wasn't going to be great, but I had no idea it was going to be as bad as it was. :( This was just a few weeks ago, and I was pretty upset about it. But now all I can do is just try to learn from it. Sometimes talking about still makes me a little upset.
Lastly, my other job just had a review as well. My boss said I did well with greeting customers, but I needed to be more enthusiastic, and bubbly. I think I handled that news a little better, because i kind of know that my attitude isn't the most bubbly to strangers. I try, but I am often just really quiet and shy. And I know this sounds lame, but trying to be that bubbly is a little exhausting sometimes.
Well, the only thing I guess I can learn from all of this is to try and look more friends with more smiles, maybe a cheery tone in my voice, and be bubbly. :p
Q-Bone
